


On The Line

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Cancer Arc, Episode: s04e14 Memento Mori, Gen, mulder's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 05:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17657123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Fill-in for Memento Mori: Mulder calls Mrs. Scully, just like Scully told him to do.





	On The Line

The day has been hectic and he hasn’t had a quiet moment to stop and think about what Scully has revealed to him. Not until now, that is. Mulder sits in his car, silence, fear and guilt his passengers. Cancer. The word – it is just a word, just a combination of six letters – has not lost an ounce of its impact. Cancer, cancer, cancer. It doesn’t go away. No matter how often he repeats the word in his mind, or much the letters run together, it doesn’t go away. The simple fact that Scully has cancer.

Inoperable.

Mulder takes a deep breath; there’s something Scully has asked him to do and he’d yet to follow through on his promise. He reaches for his phone and clicks through his phone book until he reaches the entry for Scully, Margaret. His finger hovers over the button because he is not ready. All he has to do is say hi and pass on the message from Scully to bring things to the hospital. Scully didn’t specify what she means by ‘things’ and Mulder can only hope that Mrs. Scully knows to decipher that particular code.

He’s had the number on his phone for years; ever since Scully was abducted. But he’s not once called Mrs. Scully with good news or to wish her a happy birthday, a Merry Christmas or anything. He makes a mental note to ask Scully when her mother’s birthday is. One day he wants to call her without having to apologize. Today, however, is not that day.

The dial tone is loud and with each passing second Mulder half hopes no one will pick up. If he can’t reach her mother he’ll just head over to Scully’s apartment herself, pick up her things whatever they are, and drive to the hospital.

“Hello?” Mrs. Scully’s soft, friendly voice cuts through his thoughts and destroy his pipe dreams. He can’t run away from this. But she sounds so much like her daughter that Mulder feels tears dwell up in his eyes. Hot, angry tears, like a child’s. As soon as he starts speaking, he’ll have to accept the facts, the truth. The irony is not lost on him as he licks his lips and clears his throat.

“Hey Mrs. Scully, it’s Fox Mulder.” There’s a beat, a pause and he knows she knows why he is calling her. She doesn’t know the specifics yet and they don’t matter. It’s about Dana, her baby girl. Her only remaining daughter.

“Is she- what is the matter, Fox?” How he hates his name. He’s never told Scully, has never opened up about the reason why he resents it so much. It’s this. His name carries disappointment, is spoken with contempt. Fox doesn’t bring good news. Fox has failed, again.

“It’s uhm, Dana, she’s- she’s going to stay at the hospital for a couple of days and-”

“What happened? Has she been shot?” There’s a rustle in the background and Mrs. Scully’s voice picks up speed. Impatience dominates her breathing and Mulder pushes his fist into his eye, hurting himself. Mrs. Scully doesn’t need to listen to his tears. This is not about him, not about his pain.

“No, nothing like that. She's…” He hasn’t thought about it before, but at the hospital, Scully said he was the only she’d called. Him, not her mother. Afterwards, she couldn’t have had time, not for a phone call like that. Scully would take her time to explain everything to her mother in great detail and to answer any of her questions. She’d use all the big words and her detached medical doctor voice. Just like she did with him. Scully. Cancer. Inoperable. The three words that weigh the most, hurt the deepest and should never ever belong together. They haunt him, will haunt Mrs. Scully as soon as he utters them. Neither of them is like her, like Dana. The rational one. Both he and Mrs. Scully are emotional, hot-headed. 

“Please, Fox. Just tell me what it is.”

“They found a… a mass. A tumor.” There’s a gasp on the other end of the line and Mulder presses his fist deeper into his eye socket, welcoming the physical pain. “She will be able to explain it much better once you see her. She asked me to call you and ask you to bring her some things. She didn’t say what things, she just said things and I,” he trails off, taking a deep breath again, failing. It’s shaky and he thinks he might drown in his emotions, suffocate.

“She couldn’t – she can’t talk on the phone? Is it that bad?”

“Oh no! I’m sorry, no. She’s just- we were working a case and she asked me to call you because…” Because Scully is working. How do you explain to a mother that her daughter refuses to stop, stand still for just a moment? Scully, who spits out words of reassurance, using trite lines like I’m fine, Mulder while she’s dripping blood, drops magenta staining the concrete. That Scully is working, never giving up or in. A hollow laugh scrapes his throat and he swallows it. He catches his reflection in the rear-view mirror and wonders which one of them is dying, really. There he is, pale as a ghost, lost.

“She asked you to call me.” The cold in Mrs. Scully’s voice makes him shiver, but Mulder understands. This is not about him. Her anger needs an outlet and he’s there, taking the blow. “I see. Well, thank you, Fox. I take it she’s at the same hospital she always is? My, you two should get a discount by now!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Scully.”

It takes the fight out of her and she cools down. “Oh Fox, it’s not your fault. My daughter wants to do everything on her own. She’s a fighter, you know.” She’s laughing and sobbing, the two emotions battling for the upper hand. Mulder smiles and realizes he’s crying, too.

“I know,” he replies in a soft voice. “She is strong. She’s- she’s fighting.”

“She is. She always is. If only she’d let us help, hm? I’m glad she has you, Fox. No matter what you may think. I’m glad it’s you. I just need some time to process this but thank you for calling me. Goodbye.” The call is over before he has a chance to reply. I’m glad it’s you. What is he, though? He’s the man responsible for everything that has gone wrong in Scully’s life these past few years. She follows him, blindly at times, wherever he goes, his own eyes blindfolded by his passion for the truth. Time and again she saves him and his sorry ass. It should be him in the hospital, him who should be facing death. It should have always been him. 

Mulder gets out of the car and checks the trunk. Her overnight bag is there like she said. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for as he opens zippers and stares inside. Neatly folded blouses, pants, and a blazer. It’s all here. She’s ready to go anywhere at any given moment. Because of him. This time it’s a hospital. What if… Mulder touches a blouse and it feels soft against his skin. He can’t allow himself to think like this. What if… what if she doesn’t get to go home again? All these other women. Not one of them has survived. Not one.

Scully is different.

She is a fighter; her mother said so. She’s going to fight. Mulder closes the bag up and dries his tears. She’s going to fight and he’s going to be by her side, fighting with her. It’s all he can do.

No matter what it takes.


End file.
